Wednesday 22nd January, 2014                  2100

An interesting day. It was the day of the barbecue, for which I was collected promptly at 1430 and whisked downtown.

It was held in a public park and of course Chinese barbecues are nothing like western ones - not a steak, hamburger or jacket potato in sight. Instead, it was wooden skewers of chicken, mutton, prawns, tofu etc and of course their version of hot dog sausages which I find revolting. My preferences were of course inconsequential because the children were all excited and sometimes it is sufficient just to watch others having fun. My needs were taken care of by the supply of beer although I did regret wearing a brand new pair of shoes for the day but then I hadn’t realised not only would I be walking far in them but also standing around for the duration.

They were complete novices to the barbecue game though. Far from lighting the three small units an hour beforehand it was left until we got there and although there was ample charcoal there was only one small bag of lighting gel. It resulted in the kids having to go and scavenge dried leaves and fallen twigs to actually get the fires started and not unnaturally they started cooking immediately the flames came. Nobody had a clue how to cook on a barbecue (and if there are not children vomiting tomorrow I will be amazed) for instead of leaving the skewers to cook they insisted on turning them and patting them up and down constantly. I can only hope there was no salmonella present because as sure as hell some of that stuff was still raw when it was eaten.

An old lady who was a park cleaner and who had only just swept the paved area where we were moments before our arrival came and stood watching. I suggested to Avril that perhaps she should offer the woman a sausage to keep her sweet and it was gratefully received, as were the prawns a little later. However, her oppo arrived thirty minutes later, an elderly man who I assumed was simply a local resident. He berated everyone in Chinese so without knowing what he had said I guessed he was being troublesome. I was right. He was telling everyone that this was the wrong place to hold an activity such as this.

I couldn’t help myself.

With Avril’s translation I told the old boy not to be so miserable, had he forgotten what it was like to be a child and that I reckoned he had been really naughty as a boy. Mr Grumpy very quickly turned into Mr Nice. See the photo of the two cleaners in black jackets for proof. I never ate any of the food but the children were like locusts. In fact I have had nothing at all to eat today for two reasons - firstly it wasn’t my sort of food and secondly I didn’t want food poisoning from badly cooked produce.

Touch wood nobody will feel ill but after the kids left to go home the teachers assisted in the park cleanup and we all transported the tables and barbecues (one of them still lit) down to the building which houses the school along with many other offices. There we set up shop for the teachers to eat the food that remained. I still never ate anything for the aforementioned reasons and in fact will have some cheese and crackers once I have finished this entry. The owner Mr Wu seemed most concerned that I hadn’t eaten and so I pointed out the food was not the stuff I eat, prompting him to state he would have obtained different things had he known. I assured him I was having a good time regardless although I am almost certain his prior invitation to his parents home for the new year has been rescinded. Perhaps he thinks my fussiness will offend his folks but to be honest it troubles me not. I am perfectly happy here alone that night and am even considering buying a big box of mortars for 180y to let off at midnight outside my building - expensive but satisfying for the child inside us all even if I am the only one to witness it.

So that looks like my last social engagement of this lunar year unless Qing does wangle time off and come, although I have promised Sonya from the ABC bank I would take her and a girlfriend for dinner sometime in the holiday. I was hoping it would be with Qing for a foursome.

Oh and in case you are wondering about the photo of the flowers, they are Kevin’s narcissi I am looking after in his absence. They are currently flowering atop my washing machine.