You can just FEEL it by now that whenever I go away somewhere, things are guaranteed to go wrong, can’t you?
The calamities started before I even left. When I got to the vets I went upstairs with Pepsi (who by now surely knows that if I put her lead on it means she is going to prison) to find the place deserted apart from all the dogs in cages. After ten minutes someone came back but his English was poor. I did however glean that everyone was down the street trying to recapture a client’s escaped dog.
Pepsi in custody, I rode to the station and bought my ticket. It was pretty hot so I was looking forward to an air-conditioned bus. At the gate I thought was the Tongling one, a bus had just started to board but with ninety minutes of a ride ahead I felt it prudent to pay a swift visit to the little boys room. By the time I returned the bus had gone. Whilst annoyed, it wasn’t too dreadful as the Tongling buses leave at about 20 minute intervals and that gave me time to buy a small packet of biscuits and a cold lemonade from the station shop.
Aside from the fact the driver was the slowest I have ever encountered, the trip was fine and the aircon worked nicely. I even managed to get off at the most convenient stop instead of going all the way to the main station. Ali and her “sister” (actually a high school classmate) came to meet me. The sister (despite being an English major at Fu’yan university) amazingly didn’t have an English name. She does now - I christened her Charley as that’s sort of what her Chinese name sounds like.
They checked me into the Jinfeng hotel, whereupon I immediately tried the internet. Despite the girls finding the password for it on a card I couldn’t get access. Ok, so it doesn’t have to be wi-fi - I plugged in. Still nothing. Fine, I would get the hotel to sort it later if it still doesn’t work I thought (sometimes hotels forget to switch the net on when a guest arrives) but I needed a cold bottle, I was parched. The hotel restaurant is in the basement so we went down and asked for bin pijou. Incredibly, (because it is summer) they didn’t have any chilled so we cancelled that idea and got a cab to take us somewhere that did, the Blue Coffee Business Bar. Very pleasant, if pricy, and the girls had a fruit cocktail apiece whilst I slaked my thirst.
We had arranged to meet Amy and her “sister” (her cousin) at six at the place that does the exquisite sweet fish, yet at five-thirty I got a text asking where we were as they were waiting! In the west the girls often keep the lads waiting but here, most times they arrive far too early. The three of us arrived punctually at six. Naturally we had the fish and I was so pleased to actually be able to eat more than I have done on a daily basis since becoming ill. The girls ordered corn, broccoli and some strange rubbery mushroom, some barbecued pork pieces and something else I cannot remember. Whatever it was I never had any! I also had to give Amy’s cousin an English name so she is now Janine.
Ali had brought me a container of her mother’s rice wine as promised, which is rice in a liquid and I have to cook it with something - I will find out tonight exactly what - otherwise she thinks it will be too sweet for me.
It was a really pleasant couple of hours and despite my concern there would be some awkwardness when meeting Qing’s mother again (haven’t heard from Qing since the spring festival) everything was good. We made a date to all meet up this evening at six (and I emphasised six) at Pizza and More. We were discussing pizzas last night in the coffee bar and when it was suggested, I asked if they didn’t have a Pizza Hut because Pizza and More might not be as good. After Ali checked on her phone she looked suitably sheepish when she told me they were one and the same - she knew it by its slogan rather than brand name. I should have capitalised on that later in the evening when she never understood what Tesco was. I should have said tomorrow I am going to every little helps!
Anyway when I got back to my hotel I tried the internet and it still wouldn’t work so I went to reception. They didn’t speak English but I persuaded them to come to my room to see. They couldn’t fix it and with them watching I sat at the laptop and showed them what I had done a half a dozen times to no avail. Inexplicably that time it worked! I thanked them for the help (the irony will have been wasted) and they left beaming.
Thirty minutes later as I was surfing I was suddenly plunged into darkness. I was stunned. I had just left somewhere where it is commonplace during storms but not here - not in an hotel! I looked out of the window and the surrounding dwellings all had power. I opened the door to find the corridor well lit. Was it just me?? Then others emerged from their rooms to investigate. It wasn’t just me but it wasn’t the entire hotel. It wasn’t even our floor - it was MY side of the corridor only! I have no idea whether one of the Chinese residents plugged something naughty in or not but I did see a circuit breaker that had been completely destroyed.
Having the novelty of not only a working TV but with an English language channel, I retired to bed pooped and watched part of an American police film. For the first time in a while I was asleep before midnight and slept well, finally rising at nine. I must remember to take some Twinings tea bags and a carton of milk whenever I go away again, flat lemonade isn’t particularly appetising first thing in the morning. For now, I’m off to Tesco to see if I can find anything remotely interesting food-wise from the UK in there. Last time it was Heinz tomato soup.
1630
Well the only remotely western thing I found in Tesco was a packet of continental digestive biscuits, a packet of which I bought for the bus journey tomorrow. I also bought three disposable razors for 6y because annoyoingly none are provided by the hotel, rather you can buy the pack provided in your bathroom for 20y. In Chizhou you can find somewhere with cold beer in the summer every ten yards but not so Tongling. And when I did spot somewhere after finishing shopping it was on the other side of the road and with a barrier in the centre so meaning a long walk to find a crossing place. Eventually though I did park my weary bum down and have a couple before returning, only to find that my room card wouldn’t work! They had obviously only told the computer I was staying one night rather than the two I took care to stress (and for which they charged me) yesterday. I can but hope nothing untoward occurs in Pizza hut in two hours time.
2200
Well yes of course it did!
We all met up as planned - if a little earlier than planned - and ordered, Thankfully Ali and Charley had gone early because by the time I arrived (still early) people were queuing outside the door. Quite why is beyond me because Pizza Hut is bloody expensive, they charge western prices in China. It must be a status thing. Anyway, I dealt with the “bouncer” and went in to find Ali had secured a table for five, or rather four plus one in the aisle. They don’t have provision for large parties.
I ordered two lots of vol au vents purely because I knew the others wouldn’t have had them before, for starters. Verdict - just ok. Ali, Charley and I all ordered personal pizzas (I ordered a bottle of very expensive merlot - sod it, I’m on holiday) and Amy and Janine decided to go for a big stuffed crust to share betwixt the two. When the waitress clipped the bill to the table I was slightly surprised at seeing a total of nearly 500y and so checked. Yes, fine, my wine at 138y was the biggest item but what was the 116y thing?
Oh yes. Amy and Janine’s pizza to share. Enough said. The little pizzas arrived and were quite good but then the big one came. It was colossal!! The five of us could have filled up on it! I think Amy was feeling guilty but in fairness anyone could have made that mistake - I never knew they did them that gigantic. Needless to say we all tried to help eat it but still Amy took some home for her and Janine’s breakfast. It was worth the error just for the fun I had ribbing Amy. Not only that, for the first time in over a week I actually ate a decent helping of food. I never took the camera as one Pizza Hut looks the same as the next and the company was identical to Monday evening.
Sadly of course this signalled the end of my short break here (although I did get a pretty girl’s email address before we left the restaurant) and we all took our leave. I needed a smoke and you can’t smoke in there so outside I found a re-run of one of the Argentina world cup matches playing on a huge outdoor screen and so sat on a low wall with the locals watching that as well as young children kicking balls about. Drinking the moment I believe it’s called. I stayed only long enough to finish my cigar, after all I knew the result, and took a taxi back to the hotel where I am now finishing a bottle of plonk before retiring and tomorrow’s return.
Despite the travails (which are part and parcel of a Wednesday’s child’s life) it has been an enjoyable, if expensive little sojourn.
Wednesday 16th 1230
Well the plan had been to check out by now and be on the bus home. Two things happened to change that.
Firstly, I awoke a couple of times in the night and felt pain in my left knee. It was an attack of arthritis developing and as I haven’t been troubled by it for months, and only being away from home for two nights, my anti-inflammatories were the only pills I never brought with me. I had hoped it wouldn’t be too severe but by the time I got up (having given up on trying to sleep through the maintenance man’s drilling) I couldn’t walk. And yes, there was now heavy rain outside.
I sent an SOS to Amy and bless her, she went to a chemist, got me some pills and brought them to me. Before that though, Qing phoned me! She couldn’t talk for long, she is working as a journalist here now. The two things combined made me decide to stay another night. I didn’t want to hobble everywhere carrying my luggage in the rain and I rather hope that Qing will have dinner with me tonight although I am not holding my breath on that one.
Somehow the hotel management found out Medicins Sans Frontieres was rushing emergency supplies to me and when Amy and Janine arrived I suddenly had a roomful. It is obvious they think I am about to peg out as the manageress took Amy’s phone number in case of an emergency despite my protestations that arthritis is not normally life-threatening. I am hoping in about an hour or so I will be considerably more mobile.
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