Friday 22nd April, 2016                  0245

Late again but I have until 1600 Monday off, nothing on as yet other than the final English corner at 1830 later today and a shopping trip to get in between now and then. So a late night and hopefully a late rise is on the cards.

It would seem I will be the only laowei at the English corner, Richard presumably heading off to visit the girlfriend and of course Andrei and Juliette with their Chinese lessons. I must ask them where they take them, not because I want to have classes myself but because if they are free from the school (part of the initial contract offer when I joined and Kevin asked but never received).

In early May - this is English month, hence all the corners - this year they are actually having a summer concert for the foreign languages department (it was cancelled last year). In typical fashion the foreigners were approached two days ago to perform, that gives us ten days to a fortnight at a guess as I don’t know the exact date it will take place but I am sure not long after the labour holiday.

Justin (one of my ex students and the one who dumped Dumpling) is something on the student union and came to see me. Would I sing a song? No I bloody wouldn’t, said I, which didn’t seem to be received that well. I said to give me a few days and I would tell him what I WOULD do. After that lesson I met Andrei and Juliette downstairs, he having just ridden her down to start her class after I finished. A little later I discovered why my answer created so much disappointment.

Well Andrei and Juliette are China novices in respect of how this uni works and Andrei, not actually being employed here was having none of it but I think Juliette was resigned to singing. Did I get the link to the song, they asked? No, I was only asked an hour ago. They played it to me and informed me they wanted Richard, Juliette and I all to sing it, half in English and half French! They had CHOSEN a song!!! They have as much chance of me doing that as my becoming the dean here. I can sing but always songs that need no accompanying music - Wild Rover, Court of King Caractacus, Botany Bay etc but Karaoke on stage? Not on your Nelly.

So hastily over the weekend I need to devise a sketch we can all (including Andrei) take part in so that none of us have to go through the ignominy of producing singing which would doubtless sound akin to a zither and a cat trapped in a microwave. I have an idea, whether we can make it as funny as two years ago remains to be seen but the kernel is there.

In the meantime the agency responded to my question, the school they have in mind is in Hebei province, not far from Beijing. Great, -22C in the winter and pissing with rain in the summer. However a wrinklie can’t be too choosy so I just hope the contract is a lot less draconian the first one they offered me and that the pay is better than here. I haven’t checked out the cost of living index yet as I have no clue as to which city they are thinking of and anyway I still have to get through the interview.

So this afternoon Anthony called me between classes to say that Miss Yin had copied the foreign expert certificate and could I go and collect it. I protested that I had asked that a photo be taken and it be emailed to me and was told that I could take a picture of the copy myself. Fair comment but I had class all afternoon. Send a student.

Well the students never go anywhere singly, there always has to be a brace! So I lost two students for fifteen minutes. The bloody copy is so faint I don’t even know if the agency will be able to read it clearly unless they can enhance it with Photoshop or something. I did my best with whatever it is I use to fix my photos but it still wasn’t good. I hope it’s ok as I am eager to find out the details, which of course I won’t be given until they have all the documentation.

I am back to even more disturbed sleep than normal purely because of my uncertain future, once I have a contract/job offer then at least I will know I have a home to go to. I will still worry about the logistics of actually moving out and shipping my stuff - especially that distance (at a guess 800 miles) and of course the cats need to be banished.

Well as all of them except Lottie (the only cat I wish I never clapped eyes on because she piddles everywhere bar where she should) have showed tendencies to make a bid for freedom. As I have said before the plan is that when it gets warmer I will leave the stairwell window open so they can escape and hopefully turn feral.

Dumpling cleans on Wednesdays and Saturdays and so far I have fed her dinner on each occasion, Wednesday being fish and chips. In order to not be here on Wednesdays so that she can clean the place without my having to keep moving, I go to the office for an hour or so and return when she has finished in order to cook. I had just opened my second bottle when she texted that “the” cat had ran out of the door (presumably as she arrived) and run upstairs and didn’t want to come back. She didn’t know what to do. Was it the naughty one? I asked. Yes. That meant Zorro. Forget it I told her, I will deal with it when I came back, after all I want them all to have freedom soon!

I didn’t have to deal with it because he was back when I got home. I knew what had happened before I asked - Zorro had come back of his own accord, jumped up on the windowsill and waited until Dumpling opened the window to let him in. That concerns me in that if they get used to coming and going at will, when the time comes I may have to physically boot them out in case they get locked in and die of starvation. Herding cats is one of life’s impossibilities.

Sometimes I think I should have chosen a career as a bookkeeper just to keep my life in the realms of nine to five Monday to Friday, Sunday roast and two weeks holiday each year in Bournemouth!