Wednesday 22nd June, 2016              1225

The travails continue.

Having been told to go to Hefei rather than Shanghai, I duly did so yesterday. Alice is back on campus until tomorrow when she and her year all get to don mortarboards and gowns and collect their degrees so I asked if she would come and translate for me.

I rose at five and we took the 0710 train. En route I asked her to look online for how to get from the station to the government building we needed. Number 99 bus. It took a while but it deposited us directly opposite. Later in the day we discovered it was only a five minute taxi ride - which indeed it was because that’s how we returned.

Then the pantomime started. We took a ticket from the machine and waited. And waited. We were number 16. I watched the sign like a hawk once it reached 15 and to my huge displeasure. in time saw it jump immediately from 15 to 17! I despatched Alice to remonstrate and in fairness number 17 was sent packing to wait their rightful turn.

As I keep saying, people here haven’t a clue what my qualification is and the Anhui provincial government staff are no different. I was then asked what degree did I want - bachelors, masters, doctorate? I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing and yet Alice explained that for 385y they would give me a degree!

I wasn’t entirely comfortable with that but justified it by thinking that if the government were suggesting it then for them it could well be normal practice and it was hardly as if I would use it outside China. Then we had to go to a bank of computers and input data. Alice did all this and now I was born in China, studied for and obtained a BA in English at Jinan university. The more I thought about it the more I convinced myself this wasn’t going to work. I am still of the same mind.

When we came to the payment part online the free computer turned out to be unable to make transactions. Additionally Alice couldn’t do it online through her phone either. Suddenly a trip which I had hoped would see us getting a lunchtime train back was fast becoming lengthier. In fact at noon we had to leave as the staff went on their break until 1330. We had to get photocopies made and mercifully (I say that because I had a sudden and very painful arthritic attack in my ankle) there was the perfect shop just around the corner, along with a small restaurant for our lunch and a handy pharmacy for some diclofenac - not something I routinely carry on me.

After getting much help from the shop staff, Alice was finally able to pay the 385y, we got our copies, she legged it to get my medicine and then we had a simple  lunch whilst waiting for the office to reopen.

Back we went and I signed countless forms, at the end of which I was instructed to mail translated and notarised versions of my ticket (which I never took with me because I had previously been informed it was useless!!) and also the ONC. So now I have to get that translated and stamped as well. The only good news is that I had a brainwave and asked the firm I proofread for if they also notarised and they do. They will only charge me 120y and don’t need the original so hopefully tonight I will take a photo of it, email it and Joan will pay for it online.

Just before we left the officer handling my affairs commented that when my application got to Beijing I shouldn’t hold out too much hope! I wasn’t anyway but at this I then got Alice to point out the whole thing was ridiculous because for 6 years I have already been teaching here and suddenly I was being told I probably couldn’t. At that, the officer had Alice write some rubbish about my length of service and that staff and students alike loved me, which I duly signed and will be included in the bundle when everything is sent to the capital after they receive what I post to Hefei.

It was 1730 before we finally got home. A couple of hours later Anthony decided to pay a visit, just when I was in as morose a mood as I could be. To his credit, upon hearing of my obstacles, he started coming up with suggestions such as apply to a private academy or consider a public high school. The former is a no-no due to the sheer hours they demand, the latter a possibility but I fail to see how that can possibly alter the documentation problem.

If only I had a crystal ball.