Tuesday 20th December, 2016                                 1930

It’s taken long enough living here to know never to believe anything until it happens. Just as well. The playing Santa for the kindergarten knock-back may have been unfathomable but at least I hadn’t  been told it was definite.

What WAS indicated to me as being a “done deal” (and not one I ever even suggested) was the new year’s eve party appearance. It now transpires the school isn’t interested in that either! To be honest I am secretly glad, I mean who wants to be Father Christmas AFTER the 25th? Nonetheless it was communicated to me as having been requested by the school when the fact is, it was anything but.

Ah well, the costume will have to stay packed away for another year. Or will it?

Janet, from guilt perhaps, has now told me there is a private kindergarten opposite the campus that would love Santa to call. Just when I thought I would have Friday off to use for food preparation, guess when she has organised it for? Yep, when I’m supposed to have the class that doesn’t turn up any more. What the hell, if it makes little childrens’ day brighter, I will be there. Janet even asked me what I wanted them to buy me for a Christmas present. Naturally a round trip to the Maldives would be nice but courtesy rather toned that one down. If they did decent ones here I would have said socks (you can never have too many) but stretchy confetti on my feet is not my idea of fun. Instead I gave two options, neither of which will break their bank - a non-stick omelette pan or a proper metal cake tin so I can try my hand at baking cakes, not something I have tried before. It does rather increase Saturday’s culinary workload though. I may just boil and roast the ham tomorrow night in view of this, otherwise I will never get everything done in time.

Suzy tried to get me coconut milk for my satay sauce. Initially she sent me a photo of a coconut drink with the most unhelpful suggestion that I could mix it with milk. No thanks. Then a picture of a block of desiccated coconut meat. Somehow I get the impression she never understood when I told her it had to be coconut milk or nothing. Anyway, it is nothing as it turns out,  so recipe C will swing into action because the pork and the skewers have been paid for and I’m certainly not wasting them.

I have noticed since being here, on the rides to and from school, that there are large hospitals. Understandable in a provincial capital but the specialist hospitals all have huge lettering in Chinese and English atop twenty or so storeys. The first I noticed was the Gansu Provincial Cancer Hospital. Talk about gloom and who would want to be seen going in or out? There is an eye hospital and others but today I spotted one which at least only had the bold lettering on the 2nd floor as opposed to blaring it out across the rooftops. Gansu Dang Rai Anorectal Hospital! Great, walk in off the street and everyone’s chortling because you have a disorder of the arse! I am now on constant alert for the Gansu Provincial Clap Hospital - it must be here somewhere!

Last night the 40W bulb in my bathroom blew. the ceiling in there is one I can reach when stood on a chair, the other lights in the place are higher and you need a stepladder. Rather than arrange for maintenance to fix it, I left home early before going to work and went into the “cave” where most things may be found. There’s a thought, I might find coconut milk in there! Must look tomorrow.

I bought two bulbs, always nice to have a spare, and was very pleasantly surprised to only have to pay 10y the pair. I have found something which is cheaper here than in Chizhou!

Oh, before I forget, when I arrived in school at 1400, just inside the entrance there were big boards with ads for Christmas parties which the students had knocked up. Most of the writing was in Chinese but Merry Christmas was in English. I stopped by the middle sign of three and tutted. A girl hurried over (didn’t speak English of course) and I pointed out they had put “Mery Christmas”.

I thought nothing of it until I finished and went down to get the bus home three hours later. As I got to the entrance, I noticed another R had been hastily put above the E and R so that although it looked zany, was at least now spelt correctly. A different girl heard me chuckling aloud at the fact that I had had such an effect and looked at me as if to ask “OK now?”

I just laughed and stuck up a thumb, then chortled all the way to the bus.