Monday, 14 January 2019


Monday 14th January, 2019 1845

On Friday Adriana came. Alice is staying here for somewhere to study during finals week where at least she gets fed and stays warm, rather than the classroom.

Adriana is still completely bonkers and I persevere in trying to get her to seek help.

However, we were going to 26 inches, I really wanted sausages. So we all did.

We arrived and were seated and I asked the girls to tell the waiter to leave and get me a Budweiser (which happens to be the only alcohol on the menu) and give us five minutes to peruse the menu. He disappeared.

When he came back we had all agreed we should have two sausage platters and two platters of potato skins to share. Then he told us they had no beer. Considering it was the only alcoholic beverage they offered I would have thought they would keep a stock, especially as there is no smoking and you are on the third floor.

Adriana suggested she went out and bought some beer or maybe a bottle of wine and brought it back for us to drink. She asked if that was ok. Big mistake, she should just have done it.

Bear in mind I had been there but once, at lunchtime with Jody, the staff did not know me. Well, I say staff but they were kids, I'm guessing the oldest was maybe 22.

His answer? Ok but not get drunk.

I requested a translation and immediately bristled. Alice is allergic to alcohol and I do not have a reputation for rollling around Lanzhou pissed as a fart, Adriana I cannot speak for but I asked him to repeat it. He did.

As much as I had anticipated the sausages, I was incensed. I told the girls we would not be eating there and to leave with me. Alice was in disbelief but Adriana followed me to translate at the desk. I demanded to see the manager.

What they produced was a youth who had clearly just been woken, having fallen asleep atop his Nintendo and if he was the manager then I am an Olympic gold medallist. He couldn't have cared less that they had just lost 400-500¥ that night and probably an awful lot more in future custom because I may have recommended it to other foreigners. Nope, he wasn't the manager and had no interest. He simply reiterated what the bellboy had said. Where's Trip Advisor when you need them???

We left.

I managed to find a place further down the road I had been to once before, Chinese but the food had been ok. This time not so. The beef was good, the spare ribs I was convinced had been defrosted in a microwave and were hardly lukewarm and when the sweet pork came after two reminders it was cremated. Complete disaster.

Still angry, I took the girls to “my” bar across the road, Alice wanted to revise for her exam (yes, they have exams at weekends here) and it is relatively quiet. And I can get a G&T. Except they tasted like grass! No idea if it was the lime, ice or gin but it wasn't what they usually serve. And it tasted just wrong.

Adriana got to the verge of leglessness on two cocktails so after my third gin we left.

I have had the shits ever since and I cannot state with certainty whether it was the food or the drinks that did it.

I have been cooking dinner for Alice every night and every night a picture of it is posted on Wechat (Chinese Facebook), including tonight when I made her lasagne. I can eat hardly anything and anyway nothing tastes as it should. Maybe Chinese agents have poisoned me..........

Tomorrow night will be simple, baguettes filled with bacon and fried eggs. Sod it, I'm not spending weeks of afternoons slaving in the kitchen although it's possible I might make a big apple pie that will last a few days.

Anyway, tomorrow I shall meet a young man for lunch who needs his IELTS score improved. As it is illegal for me to take alternative employment (even if the school asked me) of course I shall not be paid but I will more than likely receive a good handshake! With this Chengdu trip mounting in costs, every little helps!

Oh, and the chap that took me to the airport for my summer flight to Paris is available and is going to take us. More expensive than the train but half the price of a taxi and no bag searching and confiscating my penknife which I can take in the cargo hold of the flight. And no scrutiny of the wine and jing jo bottles either. Plus I can smoke en route.

Chengdu will be interesting in more ways than you can imagine......

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