Sunday 28^th July, 2019 0900

Bigger is not necessarily better. I made that king prawn curry for Alice. The prawns were like jelly. 50¥ I spent on them and would have been better served by paying twenty for smaller ones. Bloody awful. The Chelsea buns were lovely and fluffy though even if I do say so myself.

Foodwise, of late I have been preparing simple stuff for myself. With the crackdown in preparation for Shanghai I dare not go out for a meal although of course I could have cheap noodles down the road if I actually had any teeth to chop them off! A huge plate of chow mien would set me back 10¥ or about £1.20. I have never managed more than 25%, hence another reason I hardly go there, asking for small portions is pointless.

Yesterday I had the red thing on Chrome so tried to update. I was greeted by an error message. Taking to the internet (Windows own help site in case you are wondering) and it said to uninstal and reinstal Chrome. The uninstal was a piece of cake but when I came to try to get it back again?

Talk about sweat! IE here puts you through to Baidu, the Chinese search engine. Well naturally I didn't want to download from anything with a .cn suffix and tried softonic. No idea who they are but I have used them in the UK for things. Six times it failed. With visions of not having Chrome again unless I left the country I delayed my shower and spent an hour retrying. To my relief I eventually got it back with the help of my Great Firewall buddy. If it happens again I will download and overwrite without uninstalling!

Alice sent me a short video taken in Bryan Bay in Australia earlier. I've never heard of it and I am reasonably au fait with the Aussie coast. I asked her did she mean Byron Bay?

No, Bryan Bay is the most easterly point of Australia, she replied. I rest my case on that one!

She also sent a photo of her meal which was lasagne. With chips! What???? I couldn't help but point out the only things you should have with lasagne are salad and garlic bread. I said whoever ordered it was a farmer, something most will not understand but in Anhui it denotes an uncultured person with no class. Unfair on farmers but then..... Does that make me a snob?

She seems to be having a great time though and I pointed out that she is now a globetrotter, this being her fourth country in twelve months. And the British Consular official wrote that he “was not convinced she would return to her home country” after she applied for a visa for our proposed UK trip last summer. I cannot/will not print here my opinion of that particular official, or indeed of the myopic way the UK treats applications from people who actually don't want to cross the Channel in a dinghy but do want to spend their cash and bolster the treasury.

It would not surprise me though if Alice comes back after the holiday with an engagement ring.

Oh and now I have a logistical problem. Capt Roland found a Shanghai vendor (who infuriatingly only delivers locally) that sells British bangers and back bacon – AND lorne sausage! God, I want them! Problem is, how to get them back here in good nick?

I am sure I can get our hotel to bung them in the freezer and when we return the airport hotel here to do likewise but what about the two or three hours in Pudong after my bag is checked in and before we take off? Funnily enough, this second I just had an idea! Bloody hell, we are flying up front. If I buy enough ice gel packs and take my coolbag I can take them on the plane! We are VIPs, we can take a Mini Cooper as hand baggage! Well, probably get Alice to carry them, after all, I am an old man and anyway I paid for the tickets! I think the problem just disappeared. If only I could get genuine Scottish morning rolls I would be almost in heaven. Melton Mowbray pork pies still elude me though.......

Steve