Monday 4^th November, 2019 1900

Isn't life wonderful in what it throws at you?

I was so tired when I finished today and with not a lot that would be swift to cook and not a lot of time to do anything else, I decided to get off the bus early and have some KFC chicken nuggets just to fill a hole.

Ok, so the concept of fast food is wonderful but I rarely complain about the speed of the food arriving. I do however, complain when I don't have a lot of time, get the hump when after ten minutes my order still hasn't even been taken.

And it was longer than ten minutes before someone deigned to come and serve me. Oh, thank you so much for coming! Two portions of chicken nuggets please, and I placed 11¥ on the counter as the menu on the counter said a portion of five was 5.5¥. Understandable?

Apparently not. The idiot behind the counter professed not to speak English (more on that in a moment) and pointed to a bit on the menu in Chinese, which I explained I couldn't read and asked him using body language how much did he want? I was treated to his phone telling me “special price only available on Friday”. So why the hell was the Friday menu out on a Monday? Ok, how much do you want? Special price only available on Friday. Three more times this was repeated on his phone and on each occasion I asked HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT and my fuse shortened until eventually my internal Semtex blew.

Admittedly I am not entirely blameless in what followed because I said, sotto voce, you are f*****g useless, you w***** and turned to leave. He didn't understand English remember? Fuck You! He shouted.

Suddenly the alleged monoglot was fluent enough, having not been able to simply tell me how much money he wanted for two portions of chicken nuggets – even in Chinese would have been fine, I do understand numbers!

Well, he'd already pee'd me off and although the younger me would have reached over and dragged him over the counter and beat him to a pulp, this more decrepit version gave him a “look”, told him “No, eff YOU – malagabee!”

No idea how it is spelt but malagabee was given to me as the worst possible swear word in Chinese. From what I gather it involves your mother and intercourse. Only the third time in nine years I have used it (twice before directed at drivers trying to kill me) and God on this occasion was it gratifying!

He just looked at me aghast and made no response as I departed.

I half expected to be attacked from behind but I reckon he was so shocked that I knew the expletive, having treated me like an ignorant laowei, that he needed time. I was not happy, dinner tonight has been madeleines and Japanese Pocky sticks. One thing's for sure, I shall never visit that KFC again as long as I live and quite probably any KFC store in the world. Never liked them particularly anyway, unfortunately they are popular with the Chinese.

However, I didn't have too bad a day with my classes. I have not been happy so far but just maybe I have cracked them a little. They are getting the message that the more stories they give me, the more I can reply with a tale of my own, the more time it takes and the less actual work we have to do before they get a film. And nobody can complain they don't get the chance to practise. They are getting the message I set the curriculum and nobody else. I may learn to love these classes yet.

Oh, and in the break they turn on the computer and screen in the expectation of a film!