Tuesday 18^th February, 2020 1450

Reminiscent of similar “scares” in the past in the UK, apparently people in Hong Kong have been panic-buying. Maybe we passed on a little too much to them under our rule? So much so in fact that today I read an armed gang staged a heist and escaped with what? About £100 worth of toilet rolls! Despite assurances there are no shortages, people have been clearing the shelves. Loo rolls now attract a premium price, so I believe. Don't know what's wrong with China Daily, when I was a kid we sometimes had to use the News of the World.....

Say what you like about the Chinese but I have seen no evidence of plagues of locusts clearing supermarket shelves, quite unlike trying to buy food on Christmas Eve in England because the supermarkets are closed for two days!

I am sure I'm not the only one who gets annoyed at “targeted” (or as they like to put it, personalised) adverts every mortal time I go on Facebook or check my emails. I only need to check out a city to have Trip Advisor recommending hotels for me within hours for instance. I'm only either daydreaming or checking some research for Christ's sake! And the latest is Facebook. I'm in China. It's impossible to leave now without a fortnight's quarantine the moment your plane burns rubber on the tarmac. And what do they do? Send me an avalanche of “tempting” flight ads to exotic places! As for Trip Advisor, now out of spite I search dozens of places I have no intention of ever going to.

Now, if they sent me adverts for Christmas Island detention centre (actually I really used to like the place! Always we would clear out the solitary supermarket of Linghams chilli sauce – try it, you'll love it!) or Arrowe Park hospital I could understand but honestly, it's like sending Budweiser ads to someone stuck in Saudi Arabia!

And I neither have the time (life's too short) nor the inclination to keep blocking the damned things. They only start again a short while later anyway. There was one sponsored ad I kept getting a while ago that trumpeted Sweden had ditched the Euro. They've never had the Euro to ditch! So I reported it as being misleading. Ten times. Finally they stopped sending me it. If I am looking for something then I will find it, I don't need them to gratuitously send me prompts for laser eye surgery, penis lengtheners, skin-tautening creams or bloody haemorrhoid treatments! I don't want the first, too late for the second, couldn't care less about the third and don't have the fourth!

Hey! It's great not to talk about the “virus” for once! It's boring me so I must be boring you too.

Georgina in Beijing Skyped me earlier. Ok so I will talk a little about the virus. Beijing is now a “closed” city, meaning returnees need to self-isolate upon their return. Well, she's done that but she told me she had changed her job again. I think she changes jobs as often as I change my bedding. Maybe more. Anyway, she's now working for a UK legal partnership. No, not as a lawyer but recruiting lawyers to work for them. So much for her intention to work for Tesla! Good on her, always nice to know your “chicks” are getting on in the world. And by “chicks” I mean in the sense of ex-students of course. So many maybe send me a text once after they have left and then I never know what becomes of them. I still have my little harem in Shanghai although some of those seem to be drifting away lately. I reckon that's the only reason Roland likes me visiting in summer, for the pretty girls!

I was going to make a carrot and lentil soup later but someone informed me she was on a diet. Now my carrot and lentil soup is world-class and is a meal in itself. To the best of my knowledge neither carrots nor lentils are fattening or bad for you, although I am quite sure in time there will be cancer scares regarding both.

So instead of a nice, hearty soup with croutons and possibly homemade flatbread, today we will be having diet sardines on toast! And no, the contradiction is not lost on me!

Keep safe England just in case I am ever allowed back without spending the first two weeks in a bubble!