Sunday 23^rd August, 2020 Lanzhou 1630

In the end I guess I got about two-thirds of my shopping list – notable failures were Bisto and malt vinegar, despite an extensive quest which even extended to a shop nigh on at the foot of the Pearl Tower. I did manage to get some “treats” such as liverwurst, ham spread etc which will be ideal for making sandwiches for lunches at work. I even splashed out nearly £9 on a tin of corned beef!

TJ went to meet Alice at the train station and as always was late so we had the kitchen in the Big Bamboo on standby until they arrived finally at 2230. She was in her hotel room for precisely twelve hours, then it was lunch at the Flying Fox, after which she and TJ went to a science museum and the fake market (not sure it's officially called that!) before she got a train home again.

The last evening saw eight of us wander down to Las Tapas, a place I took Joanna to a couple of years ago when Roland was out of town. Rinka did an excellent job of ordering nearly every dish on the menu including a paella and a monster steak. Muggins here was as usual suffering digestive issues and, quite apart from not feeling hungry, was mightily concerned about toilet needs at 35,000 feet! A great pity as some of the plates looked lovely although I did venture to eat a huge prawn from the paella.

And the bill – thanks Rinka! - was I am pretty sure our record to date at just under 3,000¥. And do you know, I really didn't care. For the first time ever I never needed to tap up Roland, there was money in my UK account and I had enough yuan left to cover a month's salary. Not bad given the cost of the specs.

The following morning Roland kindly took me to the airport where yet again I had to go to the naughty room due to a suspicious package in my suitcase. The tin of Libby's corned beef! The VIP lounge was good, a lovely chilled white but sadly not enough time to quaff a whole bottle, had I been feeling a little better I may have tried some hot food but I waited until the plane.

It never ceases to amaze me that it's pot luck on the planes as to whether they have wine or beer and if they actually have cold beer. It's about time Chinese airlines woke up to the fact that whilst the Chinese happen to be content with juice and coffee, the old laowei paying top dollar for business class ain't doing so just for a bigger seat – he wants a drink! There may come a time when I just fly economy, queue to check in and buy some booze in the terminal to take on the plane. Pity that's not possible in Lanzhou.

I did though have some sort of spicy chicken in-flight meal, not much but probably more than for a few days previously and I arrived thoroughly drained. After collecting my suitcase I went to leave the airport and suddenly found security were all over me like wasps on a jam tart! Passport! Passport! Oh no, I was not allowed out. Despite my protestations that I live here and was here fifteen days prior, I had to be escorted to the men in white coats at disease control! Tired and now on the high end of the irritability scale, I brandished my green code. I mean, really, the city I have called home for four years is the one kicking up a fuss??? I was telling them I was a laoshe, I live in Peili Guanchan and eventually a white coat twigged and gave me a docket to escape. The thought entered my head to tell them I was starting an English Lives Matter campaign but realised they probably never heard of the other one anyway. To my disgust, at the second escape attempt I never even had the satisfaction of saying Hah! and waving the chit in their faces.

The taxi took me the strangest route home (for a previously agreed fare) but made it in the end.

Why didn't Jody join me in Shanghai? She said she thought the dates were later but the truth is she was just lounging around or in bed all day and then her bank account was frozen so she had no access to money! She's been doing favours for people by transferring currency to Kiwi and Merca and exceeded the $50,000 annual limit. That'll teach her. She's going to try and sort it out at the bank tomorrow but while I was away she resorted to plundering my piggy bank, the one I put one yuan coins in.

So I have arrived at the conclusion that I definitely bit off more than I could chew trying to keep up with Joanna but the holiday was after all about her. It completely knocked the stuffing out of me and perhaps now I need to get in the habit of taking siestas. But hell, they were ten of the best days of my life and if I haven't put her off I'd love to do something with her again next year, maybe with less cities and flights. I doubt the UK will be a realistic option before my retirement.

Jody and I went out earlier, my first time since getting back. Spare lights needed for office and loo, one of my watches had a battery failure and I decided after fifteen years my Phillips electric razor had to go. Tomorrow it's BHG, Brenda needs to email me the stuff to get printed to take to the cop shop and that's about it.