Thursday 4th May, 2017                          1830

Well that was fun uploading my blog last night. Only took an hour and a half. For two pins I would have aborted and left it until I got home but in true Mastermind fashion (I’ve started so I’ll finish) I carried on until 0100.

Alice had already planned to get a really early breakfast and then go shopping for local snacks to take back as gifts. Picky sod that I am, it was always on the cards that if I couldn’t get a reasonable facsimile of a western breakfast then I wasn’t bothering, this seemed to suit her just fine. The extra time in bed didn’t help me much though and right now I am feeling it.

I forgot to mention that Janet called when we were returning from the warriors. She asked if I would agree to be a judge at an English speaking competition tomorrow - after I have been teaching all day. I can hardly refuse when contracts are up for renewal, now can I? Nonetheless I am not looking forward to such a lengthy day.

Anyway this morning we took the free hotel bus to the airport which left at ten and got us to the terminal at eleven. As luck would have it, Alice, whilst having travelled to Xi’an by train, had found that flying back was cheaper! Since I introduced her to aviation she appears to be acquiring a taste for it because she sneaked in a flight somewhere in between our last meeting. Good for her - far better a couple of hours airborne than an entire day on a rattly train.

At airport security they tried to separate us despite both our flights being with Tianjin Airlines, presumably to even out the workload at checkpoints B and C. I simply said to Alice that I would see her the other side and made to join my queue. Fair play to the security chap, he asked if we were together (in surprise) and on realising, released her to queue with me.

However, she travelled far lighter than me and only had hand luggage. She was captured and put on the naughty step when they discovered a small tub of yoghurt she had bought as a local snack. She was rather peeved but it was payback for when I was given similar treatment when putting my suitcase through earlier and they demanded to inspect my wine. Quite how I was going to be able to create an explosion using liquids stowed away in the hold is beyond me but they graciously let it slide. Many of you reading will no doubt remember when flying was boring but made more bearable by being able to take a docking bottle through security to save money on the hideously expensive airport drinks and you could ask for a smoking seat. Doing anything at all these days when you have a habit just seems to be a trial in which you are categorised as a subverted subhuman.

Xi’an airport does at least have alcohol so while Alice got some free hot water I had a cold Tsingtao and later bought another to take on board, that “only” cost 50y. By then I was starving and very nearly bought a sandwich for another 25y but with not knowing if the bread was typical Chinese cake, I passed on that.

And then it was time to part. Her gate was upstairs, mine down and anyway I wanted a last few puffs and the smoking room was downstairs. Except I couldn’t see it for the life of me. I walked around and around and nothing but then eventually I saw a plastic bubble that was not signed in the slightest and only by virtue of the fact it seemed rather foggy inside did I realise that was it. I managed half a dozen drags on my cigar when the final boarding call came and I deemed it prudent to actually go and get in the queue.

Only, there was no queue. I was the second last to get on the bus which drove for so long (hence the boarding call had been so early) that I thought maybe he was taking us all the way to Lanzhou. Any further and we would have been off the airport perimeter!

The plane was another of those skinny Embraer things with the 2 + 2 configuration. Quite good for very short flights it should be said. No drinks or food but for an hour it doesn’t matter. I did see something you never would in the west though. A guy boarded with hand luggage that was so oversized that it wouldn’t fit in the overhead lockers. Elsewhere, he, the bag or both would be kicked off the plane but none of that happened. No idea where the bag went because there wasn’t a spare seat to be had. At one point they put him in a seat next to the emergency exit just in front of me and placed the bag by the door. I kept quiet but was steeling myself to complain if we started taxiing with an obstruction by the escape exit. How come I can’t smoke yet others can take the piss in other ways?

Back at Lanzhou airport, for the first time I had decided to take the train back. Last time with Alice we took the coach and still had to get a taxi. It was a longer hike than it had been to get the flight when I took the train from here to the airport and I suspect my stopping to buy a lighter and have a few puffs made me miss a train because I ended up waiting an hour for the next one.

It ended up with me having landed at 1400 to arriving home at 1800. But for the fact I had decided on a Dico’s chicken curry I would have taken the bus and taxi option. I really needed to eat though and I had nothing suitable here that wasn’t frozen.

Ah well. Alice got home exactly an hour after me and when you consider her flight was an hour longer and she landed in a different city to the one she lives in, it is obvious I did something wrong in a previous life!