Tuesday 7^th November, 2017 2100

Despite sleeping enough on Sunday morning, I felt terrible all day. I thought perhaps it was a simple case of an old boy going to bed too late after drinking a fair amount and the recovery rate being slowed by age.

No. I abuse my body often enough and it should rightly belong to a rhinoceros because it always bounces back!

It was the latest bane of my life, constipation.

Yes it is embarrassing to discuss it so publicly and I recall many, many years ago a friend in Kiwi taking the Mick out of old people needing to take sennapods being the indicator of old age. IWB – yes, you!

He may have been correct but with me it is simply a lack of fruit and veg – I never have a problem in Shanghai or western hotels! I graze well.

My biggest terror here is getting the trots. Basically were I to do so at this university I would be in serious trouble. Whichever campus I was on I could not get home or to a western loo within an emergency timescale.

So when I take something to sort the blockage and it doesn't take effect by the morning I need to leave for work, I panic. Taking too much would effectively confine me to quarters.

Ok, I ate little during the judging weekend – more because I only liked a few things (the ones everyone else polished off swiftly) than anything else.

But that combined with gut-ache ever since really gave me an awful day at work on Monday. I couldn't even eat my McDonald's breakfast and that has become a staple part of my week this term.

I doubled the dose last night fearing it would unleash torrents but no, things happened but not as much as hoped.

I had invited Annie (well, as my surrogate daughter she gets fed at will anyway) and asked her to invite Dariush and Stephanie (I call Stephanie Victoria and she refers to me as Churchill – I know, infantile but we are all aliens in China) but they were both booked to judge some competition.

So just Annie and me. Cottage pie. Part-way though cooking the chaps arrived to cosmetically repair the damage inflicted from the leak damage inflicted while I was defying orders to return immediately. I have to say, they actually did a good job instead of bodging which is normal here. They also shaved a load off the bathroom door so it now closes.

Having now found a stall that flogs decent potatoes I had set about making the cottage pie. Seeing as pork is readily available and beef is not, normally I use Oxo cubes and Bisto to give a beefy flavour but today I never needed to. No idea what I did but when I had a sample taste I decided it was rich enough not to need it. I suspect it was returning to my “long and low” technique of cooking. But it WAS bloody good!

The trouble was, I cooked sufficient to feed a dozen people! Half of it is now in the freezer for the next time. One day I may be able to gauge the amount needed.

The most important thing was that Annie ate enough for three and we both enjoyed it. It was also the first time here I have actually been able to say I was happy with my efforts, hitherto there has always been something I felt I could have done better.

I may have the pleasure of Victoria's company on Thursday, Annie asked if she could come. At present the plan is chicken breast, roasties and veg but with the added twist that I will for the first time try to produce sage and onion stuffing. Hell, if you don't try, you will never know!

Oh, and it had to happen. The jing jo shop man is desperately trying to recruit me to teach children on the side. He has watched the film, presumably shown a mate who owns a school and the rest follows.

Two nights running I have refused him despite his entreaties that he will chauffeur me to and from. It is going to become embarrassing if he continues and ultimately he may lose his best customer. I hate teaching kids.