These days I never expect my life to be anything other than full of trauma and disaster but it was taken to a new level yesterday.
The school kindly laid on a car to the airport and the FAO came in his own car to the hotel to pick up my large suitcase and transfer it to campus for me. By checking out four days early I regained 1,000y. Good job.
From the airport onwards it became inhumane.
Departures at Lanzhou does have a smoking room but absolutely none of the dozens of shops sell anything at all alcoholic. I only wanted a few cans of lager for the flight but I scoured the airport in vain. Five hours yawned ahead of me with nothing stronger than coffee on offer. But wait! There was a short hop first to Qingyang and an hour stopover, I can have a smoke and surely get a couple of cans there?
When we landed they instructed Guangzhou passengers to stay put. I thought we were to be confined to barracks for the duration but eventually they let us off for twenty minutes. Righto, a smoke and get some drink. This was where it became cruel and unusual punishment. Not only was there no sign of a beer but there wasn’t even a smoking room! There were toilets of course where I could have had a crafty puff but nobody seemed to have smuggled through a lighter.
Now I was really getting annoyed.
With everything I had to do in a rush on Tuesday I neither had the time nor inclination to actually eat anything and by now I was beginning to think I should get something down me, so ordered a 25y microwaved chicken burger. It filled a hole but that was it. Then it was off up again and on to Canton.
I was unable to cajole the stewardesses into smuggling me a beer from first class or even them letting me buy a couple so I settled down and accepted my lot. Flying is boring enough without being able to smoke but at least a drink or two makes it bearable along with my snuff supply. This was a flight I wouldn’t forget, neither hopefully will I repeat. I don’t mind flying economy if I can take my own hooch and had I known I would have forked out extra for first - but I am glad I didn’t now. As for the in-flight meal, I opted for chicken noodles rather than beef and rice. Bad move! The noodles were more like tagliatelle and were stuck together so trying to get a forkful was tempting fate and that of my nice white Mountain School shirt. I left most of it, thankful to have eaten the Qingyang burger earlier.
Once I had claimed my bags I went and changed 3,000y into 3260 Hong Kong dollars, had two cans of Tsingtao in about fifteen minutes (I was parched) and then set off for the Metro underground. I had plenty of time before the train from Guangzhou East rail station to Kowloon. Or so I thought.
Well not only is the airport enormous but so is the train station! It took forty minutes on the underground (I shudder to think how long it would take up above) and then the train station was something else again. Even the security chaps standing around with their armbands seemed incapable of pointing me in the right direction for the train station. I started to regret taking this laptop and three bottles of jing jo because I walked for miles.
Eventually after many wrong turns and an increasing sense of unease that I would miss my train I arrived at the waiting room for the Kowloon train, armed with a first class ticket. The train was a double-decker and I had an upstairs backward-facing seat. The aircon was great (even at 2030 Guangzhou was still 30C) and there was steward service. Cold beer and if you wanted, something to eat like a cheeseburger. It’s not the fastest train in the world and only stops once during the two hour journey but having previously gone six hours without smoking I knew I could do it.
It was at the end of this leg that things went from expensive to outrageous. A 15 minute taxi ride to my hotel was 85 HKD. I expressed a desire to increase my stay at the hotel by one night and was told it would be another 1200 HKD for the night! Having only paid 648y for two nights there was no way I was shelling out that. However, with my phone not working in HK (same country my arse) I had no way of booking and paying online at any other hotel. Thank God for a fellow OC who I shall meet this evening for dinner, who saved the day. I shall have to move to the Novotel tomorrow lunchtime for a little more than I paid here for two nights but half what this shithole wanted. And I can probably smoke in that one.
This place is the smelliest I have ever stayed in so how they can make it a no-smoker is absurd. Even the Indonesian brothels smelt better. There’s an overflowing water feature in the entrance that stinks to high heaven and permeates everywhere, except luckily my room. And that is tatty, the only two good things are it’s quiet and the a/c freezes you if you want. Awful place and I should have opted for one of the hostels at half the price.
I needed liquid even though by now it was getting on for midnight, so went down to the pool and darts bar. A pint of Guinness cost $85!!!!!! And I thought Shanghai was expensive! Now money (or lack of) was rearing its ugly head.
This morning after not a lot sleep I went to the embassy, filled out a form and awaited my turn. I was sent away to get a copy of the school’s business licence which the FAO clearly forgot about or didn’t know I needed. I managed to make a Skype call, he emailed it and the hotel printed it off for me - even THAT cost $10. Taxis to and from the embassy have alone cost $120 today.
The good news is (I hope) I can go and collect my passport and working visa at 1500 tomorrow- another $660. I will run out of HKD by close of play tonight if I factor in the Novotel and their deposit. Thankfully I have some yuan I can change but Jesus I never envisaged haemorrhaging money at this speed. Sightseeing? Forget it!
Here are a couple of photos, one of the Kowloon train and one from the hovel window, which it has to be said, does have a view of Hong Kong harbour, currently with a small cruise ship tied up to a buoy not half a mile distant but not in the photo as the tide swung it out of sight.
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