Friday 23rd September, 2016                    0000

After all that.

Janet called on Wednesday night saying her phone had been off when I sent her messages about the oven delivery debacle. It transpires that the half an hour campus “ice cream van” type delivery is quite normal to save students having to traipse elsewhere if they are free at that time. Of course that helps a new foreigner not a jot, given that the level of English I encounter is smattering at best and non-existent at worst. All it serves to do is make me turn green and burst my shirt buttons.

I was advised that at five o’clock (fat lot of good telling me after 2100) it went elsewhere and would be there the next day for collection. “Elsewhere” was “near” where my luggage had arrived previously, within a hundred yards. Yes, but WHERE? Oh, you can show the message to people, they will help. Where have I heard that before?

Well people didn’t help - all bar one who pointed back up the road I had already traipsed up and seen no sign of a parcel point. Eventually another delivery shop assisted and summoned the right people who turned up in an electric cart and indicated I should follow them.

No wonder I hadn’t spotted their depot. It was shuttered and had no outward signs to alert the ignorant. My oven turned out to be a small box which in fairness could have contained a stove large enough to cook two fairy cakes at a time and so I was curious as to what it contained. Free gifts to go with the oven! Ok, useful free gifts I must say, electronic scales and mixer, oven glove plus other kitchen paraphernalia. If only I had an oven to go with them!

I am told the star of the show is arriving in the morning so I must stay HOME. Janet was particular in using capitals for that last. So I will delay my shopping trip and this time, if I have something to cook with, it will alter what I buy considerably. All day I have been fantasising about stuffed peppers, roast chicken etc. Mind you, I’m not sure about roast spuds. I have only found one type of Murphys here so far and although they make a passable mash, boiled they turn to powder and the chips are most odd so God knows how roasties will turn out.

Last night when I was washing up I remembered the two containers of that execrable Bolognese I had in the freezer and so decided to empty them in order to use them to freeze the pork stew I was making (and very nice it was too). Despite the fact there is a horrible bitch among the local feral dogs (I am not innately unkind) I didn’t want to waste the food and so knocked out the frozen meals next to the wheelie bins in case the dogs wanted it.

A couple of hours later (it was still frozen) I heard ferocious goings-on and went to my kitchen to investigate. The dogs were fighting over what were basically two solid ice cream type bologneses! It’s dark now but I would lay odds it has all gone. Maybe the horrible dog will like me now. Maybe not.

Despite having no company to speak of, yesterday I started to feel a little more comfortable. Fridays I have a class in a different room and building but the monitor had lost the key so we were locked out. I suggested we go to “my” classroom next to “my” office. Small beer I know but it does make a difference to have your own space for breaks and somewhere else to teach you are familiar with. I suppose everyone (even me) needs to feel they belong………

I still haven’t plucked up courage to open my students Cyprus results (must do that before Monday) but then I have spent considerable time trying to locate the recommended books from Cambridge University Press. I was always under the impression that with an ISBN you could find any book but I now discover this may not actually be true because despite searching Taobao, Amazon and even CUP themselves with both number and title, neither I nor the students can locate them! If it isn’t one obstacle it’s another lately. I wonder if I can delay these students for another term to give us all a fighting chance?