Sunday 15th May, 2016                        0030

I really hadn’t intended starting this one today.

After the hearty bowl of cornflakes the gurgling and cement mixing continued I am sure long after I actually fell asleep. It did though stave off collapsing from malnutrition for a while, which had I not, I think I may have had a little trouble.

Still had bellyache when I got up (and when you have one my size it has considerable effect) but eventually I showered and went to shop. The shopping list included chicken for Napolitano and pasta for Dumpling last night (remember I am typing this in the morning for those west of here) and more potatoes for Alice’s promised omelette and chips for today.

I have to say that all the bumpings of the bike over the speed humps on campus almost made me go back home to the refuge of the bathroom but I persevered. I spent nearly 1,000y today on my monthly cigars, shopping and of course Dumpling’s pay for cleaning. It soon goes.

It was flipping hot as well, I reckon about 30C and when I got back I was happy to find that my office was relatively cool to sit in, have a couple of bottles and exterminate two score flies.

Then I got back, showed Dumpling a film and cooked our chicken pasta. I ate about a quarter of my meagre portion but then she only ate half her adult sized one. It was more than I had eaten in the past four days combined  so I was happy - pasta is great for energy.

After we had eaten but the film was still on I had a text from Molly (one of the elves in the Santa visit’s the kids in hospital on Christmas Day TV thing). Was I busy tomorrow? Why?

Now this is utterly typical of the Chinese. I get married tomorrow, will you come?!! I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! Yes of course I will go, I said, it will be my first Chinese wedding in all the time I have been here.

And then, now remember this is about 20 hours before the actual reception I was invited to - the sting in the tail. We would like you to make a speech!!!

Talk about giving someone space to come up with something to say??

It’s fine, of course I will go and certainly I will make a speech. All I can say is it is jolly good I have made plenty before and that I don’t suffer from stage fright.

So despite her omelette being deferred because I won’t be making it tomorrow, Alice will still get dinner as I have asked her to accompany me.

Now the protocol here is tricky. Molly told me just bring myself (and a friend) but do I show up at a wedding bearing no gifts? Apparently making a speech is enough. But of course being English I feel I should take something and with little time to sort it. I thought of a clock but that is absolutely taboo in China - bad luck. Most people give red envelopes with money in them but that’s not our way. So I am stymied as to what to actually do. Is gracing them with a foreign celebrity presence (which I am in this city without being big-headed ) and her folks being all excited after I agreed not only to come but also speak enough?

I would if I knew how and where, buy a plaque or something and have it engraved with their names but I am stuffed if I know where to have it done and anyway I have no time to go to town, then back and then to the hotel, I have other things to attend to as well. Dumpling asked her parents and they simply said give a lucky envelope but I explained that certainly Englishmen of my age prefer to give a gift, money seems so impersonal. Quandary after quandary in my life here.

I have charged the camera though, just hope I remember to take it.