Tuesday 10th May, 2016                  1700

Well my big day has passed and I still don’t feel as if I’m 60. I felt like 80 before and still do!

In fact right now I feel as if I should be expecting a telegram from the Queen. Being used to turning in at anything up to 0400 I wasn’t tired until the small hours and so by the time I had to get up at nine this morning I had managed a mere six hours between the sheets. I am paying for it now and despite my best intentions I will be grabbing a couple of hours shortly. That of course will see me unable to sleep at a respectable time tonight and I have to get up at stupid o’clock for that graduation photo, teach four lessons and then go to the graduation dinner. I will be a wreck tomorrow evening.

I took Dumpling to my dentist as promised. Whatever was wrong was obvious to them. She was seen by a bloke rather than my friend the female boss. I urged Dumpling to get an injection for the pain seeing as I was paying (might as well use what’s on my card seeing as I probably won’t be able to) and she was told the tooth had no nerve so it was unnecessary. Complete rowlocks because as soon as the drill went in she was in discomfort. I demanded she had an injection. Get this - she needs a filling. But she needs to go another four times to have it done! Ok, I have paid for the entire treatment (300y or £30) so she doesn’t need me to accompany her the other times but then the chap asked me if he could give me an oral inspection.

Fine, look inside my car crash of a mouth where the teeth are breaking off daily but you won’t do anything other than refer me to the hospital. He almost got to the point of giving me anaesthetic to extract what’s left of a canine until the boss (my bloody friend) stopped him. Do I drink? Yes of course. What is your blood pressure like? Fine, I take pills.

They needed to take my blood pressure first. No problem, long, slow, deep breaths and lo and behold it was 117/73 - for a sexagenarian that’s better than perfect. Back to the chair but then more mithering. In the end I didn’t even get a polish and scrape! And boy do I need one of those or the bleach treatment to get rid of the cigar stains.

They are shitting themselves in case pulling a tooth kills me. For God’s sake, if they knew all the injuries I have survived they wouldn’t think twice about extracting them all! The one thing I have been blessed with is a body that can stand no end of abuse. I told them I need several ivories removed (and would love a decent set of falsies) so they could take one out every week or fortnight. I don’t want loads at the same time because I take aspirin to thin my blood and it has happened before where people have bled to death in their sleep. One at a time…….

Nope.

I have now reached an agreement that I can go back but I am not sure if it is to take the recently snapped canine out (my passion for crackling is a killer) or to try and repair the chips from my incisors. I have promised not to drink before I go although I never said I wouldn’t afterwards. Fine, so I lean my head to one side to have a drink and for God’s sake they have cotton bite kits. If a tooth being pulled kills me then why didn’t all the other serious injuries?

I might go back on Friday morning. Dumpling is going on Thursday and if I am awake I may go with her.

When we left I took her for lunch. She was concerned she may swallow the cotton packing they had put in but I told her it wasn’t a problem. She had beef noodles, me a beer.

I simply can’t get over the fact they keep telling me to go to hospital for my teeth. It’s not going to happen. Imagine telling your work I am off for three days for dental work and a hospital bed? Maybe when I get really old they will just fall out…..

So I got Dumpling back well in time for her class this afternoon and then immediately took a number 29 back to town. This is why I am so tired, I have spent nearly three hours on buses today. All I really needed to buy was plonk because dinner is free tomorrow, tonight I will have frozen pizza from Tongling but I thought about Thursday and decided just maybe I would have omelette and chips (with prawn, cheese and mushroom filling of course).

I am debating what to feed Dumpling on Saturday though. Cheeseburger and chips is an option but I thought perhaps toad in the hole with onion gravy was an option. I buggered it up last time I think because I used too much milk. No idea why because in the UK when I made it it was great.

Oh boy, just had an email from the agency that told me a uni wanted me to go back to the UK to get a new visa. Now I am getting the hots. They have now replied with a possible job in Suzhou, Anhui province!

Joan’s hometown!

Who knows, everything may just fall into place………….