I really hadn’t intended starting this one today.
After the hearty bowl of cornflakes the gurgling and cement mixing continued I am sure long after I actually fell asleep. It did though stave off collapsing from malnutrition for a while, which had I not, I think I may have had a little trouble.
Still had bellyache when I got up (and when you have one my size it has considerable effect) but eventually I showered and went to shop. The shopping list included chicken for Napolitano and pasta for Dumpling last night (remember I am typing this in the morning for those west of here) and more potatoes for Alice’s promised omelette and chips for today.
I have to say that all the bumpings of the bike over the speed humps on campus almost made me go back home to the refuge of the bathroom but I persevered. I spent nearly 1,000y today on my monthly cigars, shopping and of course Dumpling’s pay for cleaning. It soon goes.
It was flipping hot as well, I reckon about 30C and when I got back I was happy to find that my office was relatively cool to sit in, have a couple of bottles and exterminate two score flies.
Then I got back, showed Dumpling a film and cooked our chicken pasta. I ate about a quarter of my meagre portion but then she only ate half her adult sized one. It was more than I had eaten in the past four days combined so I was happy - pasta is great for energy.
After we had eaten but the film was still on I had a text from Molly (one of the elves in the Santa visit’s the kids in hospital on Christmas Day TV thing). Was I busy tomorrow? Why?
Now this is utterly typical of the Chinese. I get married tomorrow, will you come?!! I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! Yes of course I will go, I said, it will be my first Chinese wedding in all the time I have been here.
And then, now remember this is about 20 hours before the actual reception I was invited to - the sting in the tail. We would like you to make a speech!!!
Talk about giving someone space to come up with something to say??
It’s fine, of course I will go and certainly I will make a speech. All I can say is it is jolly good I have made plenty before and that I don’t suffer from stage fright.
So despite her omelette being deferred because I won’t be making it tomorrow, Alice will still get dinner as I have asked her to accompany me.
Now the protocol here is tricky. Molly told me just bring myself (and a friend) but do I show up at a wedding bearing no gifts? Apparently making a speech is enough. But of course being English I feel I should take something and with little time to sort it. I thought of a clock but that is absolutely taboo in China - bad luck. Most people give red envelopes with money in them but that’s not our way. So I am stymied as to what to actually do. Is gracing them with a foreign celebrity presence (which I am in this city without being big-headed ) and her folks being all excited after I agreed not only to come but also speak enough?
I would if I knew how and where, buy a plaque or something and have it engraved with their names but I am stuffed if I know where to have it done and anyway I have no time to go to town, then back and then to the hotel, I have other things to attend to as well. Dumpling asked her parents and they simply said give a lucky envelope but I explained that certainly Englishmen of my age prefer to give a gift, money seems so impersonal. Quandary after quandary in my life here.
I have charged the camera though, just hope I remember to take it.
Tuesday 17th 1540
I will get this posted, I promise!
I have to say Sunday night was an unmitigated delight. Molly’s uncle collected us in his taxi and took us to the hotel. Early by about 90 minutes. No chance of getting a beer before the food although I could have popped downstairs to the hotel bar had I known the “rehearsal” the professional host wanted was in fact a two minute chat but of course having never been to one of these dos, leave alone made a speech at one, I was completely in the dark. Not to worry, I had my trusty hip flask as back up.
Mum and Dad seemed absolutely thrilled I had made it, albeit I was a tad overdressed even though I was concerned I hadn’t worn a suit. There were in all 27 tables, nominally for ten guests but I strongly suspect there were more than 270 attendees. As you will see from the photos (the only blurred one you will kindly note was taken by Alice!) they have round tables at Chinese weddings and there is in fact a pecking order. The guests of honour or the hosts sit facing the entrance to the room. We were placed on table two and along with a grumpy old Grandad I had one of the two VIP seats, with Alice at my side.
There was a catwalk with a bridal arch at the end, through which rather strangely the happy couple make an entrance, do their bit on stage and then bugger off to change into something more comfortable. In the meantime the guests actually start the dinner before they return. I have to say Molly looked fabulous and she wasn’t faking her happiness. What the evening cost I have no idea but I reckon it was more than I earn in a year.
The food was ok, some of it I wouldn’t have eaten, some I didn’t as I still had a dodgy belly but the duck was fine and there was a hock of pork that I must say was done to perfection, moist and tender - I even ate some fat!
I was provided with a case of beer once they found I didn’t like baijou although the two bottles of it on every table looked very expensive indeed with statuettes inside them. We were actually on the same table (apart from Grumpy) as Molly’s vice principal (who gave the only other speech) and some of her colleagues at the middle school.
Whilst I had fully intended to waffle on with my speech for ten minutes, the host decided five minutes was plenty (who’s wedding was it??) and so I abbreviated it. This was much to Alice’s relief for at the last minute Molly had pulled out of being my translator! As it happened, when Alice hesitated on stage, more I think because she didn’t realise I was doing it one sentence at a time to allow an accurate translation, Molly jumped up and took over! Alice was mortified but I told her nobody was looking at her, rather at the fat foreigner and the bride!
I think the couple thought I did them proud, hard to tell in a land where nothing is what it seems but the audience seemed to receive my offering well. It was truly an unforgettable experience and both Alice and I were treated like visiting royalty - they even prepaid a taxi to take us back.
On Monday I started making efforts to ascertain whether I could take my medical here in Chizhou, after all they run the same tests (ECG, ultrasound, x-ray, bloods etc) but it has to be a quarantine hospital for some reason. Chizhou isn’t. So Anqing it had to be. Really annoying because here I could have paid using my medical card meaning no cost to me and 4y travelling costs on the bus for Alice and me.
With the prospect of getting up this morning at seven and being unable to eat or drink until eleven staring me in the face, I decided we should go last night and stay in an hotel. That way I could get up, shower and leave immediately for the hospital. Before we left I cooked us both a huge cheese and prawn omelette with chips and peas which Alice pronounced delicious (it was) and which neither of us could finish. We took the train and spent the night in our respective rooms, Alice with my free milk, me with a bottle of plonk and my computer.
En route Kevin very kindly advised that the hospital he went to a year ago when he left was a new one and sent us the address on the little medical book you get. Accordingly we got the taxi to take us there. It was the old place! Why on earth use out of date books? Another taxi and eventually we arrived at a rather odd looking building in a development area. On the way I had been checking my pulse. As usual in the morning I was tachycardic but to my horror I found I had palpitations! Everyone gets them but that was the last thing I needed when taking an ECG!
Sure enough, the doctor carrying out that particular procedure advised Alice that I should go to hospital to be prescribed medication. I don’t think so, two hours later of course they had gone. She did remark on my suitcase, apparently she liked it and wanted one, asking where I bought it and how much it cost so hopefully she never wrote anything dreadful on the form.
BP was complimented on by the next doctor but I knew that would be fine. All other tests were good but I was somewhat alarmed when I put my urine sample on the tray holding others’, mine was markedly darker! Fingers crossed nothing damning is revealed when they send the results here on Friday or Saturday.
It was 30C outside and they had built a hospital where taxis are few and far between and I guess we stopped ten taxis and asked them to take us to the station and they all said no, too far! Christ, I thought they would be happy for a bigger fare! Eventually a woman taxi driver took us for 13y - hardly a long haul trip.
We were back in school for 1230 and once I have posted this I am having a siesta. Tonight I must read all the speeches being made tomorrow and formulate a question for each contestant. Good job I have the week off due to my students doing community service.
Phew, this one is certainly lengthy!
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